My daughter is a single mom who earns more than my husband and me, yet she often asked us for help buying diapers and formula. At the same time, she posted photos online from fancy brunches and wore a luxury watch that cost more than our monthly mortgage. I began to wonder if we were truly helping—or quietly funding a lifestyle she couldn’t afford.
When I finally confronted her, the truth came out. She wasn’t careless—she was scared. Rising childcare costs, expensive formula, and the pressure to look successful at work had pushed her into pretending everything was fine. Instead of being honest, she hid her stress behind appearances.
That conversation changed everything. We agreed on clear financial boundaries. No more cash—only practical support like groceries, childcare, and meals. Once the pressure lifted, she made real changes. She sold the watch, stopped pretending, and focused on stability.
Months later, I learned she’d started a mentorship group for single moms at her company, helping others with budgeting and emotional support. Watching her grow reminded me of an important lesson about parenting adult children: helping without boundaries can hurt both sides.
Sometimes, love means saying no—not out of cruelty, but to give someone the space to stand on their own.
