I went on a first date that felt straight out of a rom-com—roses, doors opened, great conversation, effortless chemistry. When the check came, he insisted on paying, calling it “chivalry.” I went home smiling, thinking it was one of the best first dates I’d had.
The next morning, he texted about “traditional roles.” That paying was an investment—and he expected loyalty and progress in return. That’s when it clicked: the romance wasn’t generosity, it was transactional dating.
I realized some dating red flags don’t show up loud. They look like charm, old-school manners, and paid dinners. But real romance isn’t about control or obligation—it’s about respect. And without respect, chivalry isn’t romance at all.

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